Miller Lite’s Attempt To Follow in Bud Lite’s Footsteps Succeeds: Sales Drop 40 Percent

Miller Lite is under fire for joining the woke brigade after releasing a commercial that claims women are responsible for beer. Unfortunately, the entire notion is ridiculous and falls under the category of “re-writing history.”

Miller Lite was immediately added to the conservative boycott list, which proved devastating overnight. Sales are already down 40 percent and they’re expected to sink to Bud Light’s 80 percent decrease before long.

“This was a huge mistake,” said Miller Marketing Director Joe Barron, “we should have stuck to our staple advertising techniques.”

“They forgot their audience, just like Bud Light,” said conservative boycott leader Steve Ashbaucher, “and we’re gonna make sure they pay.”

Ashbaucher, who lives on government assistance in Indiana, already drinks Mad Dog grape for budget purposes and can’t be a part of the boycott, but he says all 46 of his online personas have spread the word.

“I don’t really get it, “said Barron, “they boycotted Bud Light to show their appreciation for ‘real women.’ Now they’re boycotting us because we pointed out that men did the kill thing and the farm thing and women did the food thing and the babies thing. It seemed pretty obvious.”

Unfortunately, it certainly was not. In fact, just about all of the people to the right of Mitt Romney missed it.

That doesn’t matter. The premise is correct. Men rule the world as well as beer, and saying otherwise gets you labeled woke. And now you’ll pay bigly. God Bless America.

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