The actor and writer strikes that have shut down the US entertainment industry won’t affect a few independent, non-union companies and their crews. Sound of Freedom II, funded by Mel Gibson specifically to keep Hollywood’s influence out, is at the top of that list.

“The Strike won’t slow us down a bit,” said Production Manager Joe Barron, “Mel made sure the script was done and any changes will be made on-site by either him of Mr. Caveizel, both of whom used to belong to the Writer’s Guild.”

“The story is more important than money,” said Barron, “It looks like Ashton Kutcher will cross the picket lines any day now to join us.”

Kutcher is a known force against human trafficking, though he hasn’t publicly announced it since 2017.

It was then that he gave impassioned testimony, as did many celebrities, about the horrors of the practice and how it wreaks havoc on mostly women and children in poverty-stricken countries. What they didn’t testify to was a Hollywood cabal of evil fetus eaters stealing children to drain them of adrenochrome.

“That’s pretty crazy,” said his spokesperson, Skip Tetheludah, “Comet Pizza Q stuff. Ashton certainly doesn’t subscribe to any of that and considers loons like Gibdon and Caveizel to be far beneath him in most ways. Though Mel may have been a bit hunkier back in the day.”

That may be true, but did Mel end up married to Mila Kunis? No. Check and mate, Gibson. God Bless America.